As I won't be in the meeting here is a debrief of my experience:
BOY THIS WAS A TOUGH GOAL. I was honestly shocked, it still feels weird to admit how incredibly difficult I found this goal to be. Sometimes the simple ones are incredibly deceptive! I have, still, a LOT of judgement on meditating and EVEN THOUGH I guaranteed feel better post practice, I still maintain all the negative bs thoughts around it preceeding the next attempt. That said, I did one 5 minute body scan early in the first week and then was encouraged to keep it simple and just do that same scan each morning. Even THAT felt like a mountain and I definitely did not do more than I set out to do - so I'm glad I put the goal "within reach" which I stiiiiilllll as of writing this - haven't technically done my third for this week!!! I WILL be doing it tomorrow morning before the chaos ensues and we fly out that evening and I know I will because now I've told my buddy and all of you that I did so, I have to.Kim was a great buddy, encouraging me with extra check ins to really let me lean on that outside intimidation. And honestly I'm not sure I would've dragged myself across the finish line without the extra nudges. Thank you Kim! This one was a doozy and it's still bizarre to me that it is, so I think it means I'll have to keep practicing it for the foreseeable future. I had a moment of clarity as to the reason (cuz I had a LOT of excuses as to why) and I think what it boils down to is that I'm not good at it - or at least that's how it feels - and I detest not being good at things. So this is a great goal for humbling me and showing me it is one million percent acceptable to be a novice at something. I hope I can tackle the shame/blame/judgement on this one but it feels like a long road ahead. Alas I'll persist.Thank you all for witnessing my journey this month!!! I hope you all feel proud of yourselves, no matter where you find you've ended up. I am honored to be working on myself alongside all of you as you do the same!
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As I won't be in the meeting here is a debrief of my experience:
BOY THIS WAS A TOUGH GOAL. I was honestly shocked, it still feels weird to admit how incredibly difficult I found this goal to be. Sometimes the simple ones are incredibly deceptive! I have, still, a LOT of judgement on meditating and EVEN THOUGH I guaranteed feel better post practice, I still maintain all the negative bs thoughts around it preceeding the next attempt. That said, I did one 5 minute body scan early in the first week and then was encouraged to keep it simple and just do that same scan each morning. Even THAT felt like a mountain and I definitely did not do more than I set out to do - so I'm glad I put the goal "within reach" which I stiiiiilllll as of writing this - haven't technically done my third for this week!!! I WILL be doing it tomorrow morning before the chaos ensues and we fly out that evening and I know I will because now I've told my buddy and all of you that I did so, I have to. Kim was a great buddy, encouraging me with extra check ins to really let me lean on that outside intimidation. And honestly I'm not sure I would've dragged myself across the finish line without the extra nudges. Thank you Kim! This one was a doozy and it's still bizarre to me that it is, so I think it means I'll have to keep practicing it for the foreseeable future. I had a moment of clarity as to the reason (cuz I had a LOT of excuses as to why) and I think what it boils down to is that I'm not good at it - or at least that's how it feels - and I detest not being good at things. So this is a great goal for humbling me and showing me it is one million percent acceptable to be a novice at something. I hope I can tackle the shame/blame/judgement on this one but it feels like a long road ahead. Alas I'll persist. Thank you all for witnessing my journey this month!!! I hope you all feel proud of yourselves, no matter where you find you've ended up. I am honored to be working on myself alongside all of you as you do the same!